are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
