where am i from again
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
We need to rekindle our bromance
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
This is classic penis vs brain.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
