I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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