whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
