Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
