it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
