he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
