remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
