Yo dont text me then not text me
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Randomize
