I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
