Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
