Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
