She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
