bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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