I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
