No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
