so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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