she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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