i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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