is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize
