Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
im calling her cock vulture from now on
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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