You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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