I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
