oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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