i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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