ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Less talking, more tequila
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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