even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
