you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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