what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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