so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
