hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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