Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
it glows. i had to have it.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
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