I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
