I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
