in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
