The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I think I died a long time ago.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
