Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Randomize
