I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
