After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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