Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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