I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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