I cockslap morals
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
