I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
