Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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