In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
