Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
