That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
