I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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