So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
