We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
